Some areas need to be tweaked but I thought I'd share what I got.Man looks through telescope.
Cloud blocks telescope.
Man grabs vacum cleaner.
Man sucks cloud up.
Cloud gets stuck.
Man beats cloud with a stick.
Water from cloud creates a lake.
Stars from the sky reflect of the lake creating the feeling of space.
Any helpful critiques would be awesome. =)
5 comments:
I'm liking what I see Tim!
Here's something that played out in my head while looking at your boards. This could be an alternate intro, or just food for thought.
1.
Sky
Pan down to extreme-long of house.
Glimmer from something (microscope)
2. Close-up or Medium of microscope lens, character looking through it. (perhaps see a giant eyeball on the lends)
He'd be grumpily moving it around.
3. See through the lens, looking around, see stars..see clouds.
4. Same angle as #2, character moves his head away from lens.
(This will establish the character, how he looks etc.) You could show him react to the obstacle (clouds), think about what to do (furrowing, eyedarting..), and then show that he has thought of a solution. All of this expressed with his face.
5.
and continue with what you have.
Yep, there you go, just some thoughts. I didn't to think much about this, about to head out. But I do think you could establish your character stronger. If you hold off on revealing exactly who is looking through the microscope, for a bit, it'll build up curiosity in the audience, and that hooks them. Try to do that, even if not with what I suggested.
TO CHAPTERS, BYE.
3.
WOW jeff!!
lol thank you so much for that advice.
I'm probably going to use all that. LOL
Haha, ok la.
I think I thought of that because I felt shot 3, 4 and 5 did the same things, and didn't move the story forward.
daaaang wish I had some constructive criticism for you like your friend jeff. Alls I have to say is, that looks great. Can't wait to see the finished product. In fact, you could just slap together all that you have with some music and I would think it is the best evs. Love your ideas and drawings!
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